I’ve made many mistakes on social media, and thus have
learned much. Lately, I’ve been following some unwritten “do and do not” rules
I’ve made up that have served me well by greatly reducing my blood pressure on
Facebook and keeping me out of some trouble. I’ve been able to walk away from a
few of these little “battles” feeling good for having stated my position intelligently
without causing too much harm. That’s not to say I haven’t lost “friends”, but
at least I know where I stand. You do not have to remain silent and fearful.
Thinking and sharing freely is an absolute necessity these days… do so with
gusto, and have fun!
Note that each “Do Not” is coupled with a “Do” below. More
ideas and advice are always welcome. I still have a lot more to learn!
Do Not:
1.
Respond negatively
to a friend’s post in the comments – don’t be a troll.
2.
Unfriend them
unless it is an absolute necessity- there are always good reasons to unfriend
someone (such as abuse), but keep in mind, they will use the fact that you
unfriended them against you. However, if they are abusive, you can always block
or report them.
3.
Attack
their character. Personal attacks are beneath you. Even if they make
repeated personal attacks against you and/or your family, do not take the bait-
it only strengthens their case against you.
4.
Share
news or information from an obviously partisan news site. Examples include,
but are not limited to Fox News, Breitbart, InfoWars, Huffington Post, Occupy Democrats,
Think Progress- these sites will take any smattering of questionable facts and piece
them together to fit their narrative, which might be a narrative with which you
already agree. The problem is that if you are trying to help get actual facts,
data, and information in order to form or support a conclusion that you think others
should consider, these political news sources only weaken your position.
Frankly, I turn off my brain and roll my eyes when I see these as sources as a
basis for a conclusion or argument, and I am positive others do too.
5.
Try too
hard to “win”. Honest conversations and civil discourse is the victory. I’ve
changed quite a bit physically, spiritually, and politically throughout the
years. This change doesn’t happen when I “win” arguments. This growth happens
only when I’m challenged. It’s possible that I will strengthen my position, and
it’s possible I will “lose”, but either way I will have grown. I might also
change my position, and while that is a frightening prospect, it is incredibly
freeing. I’m free to think what I think and if I want to change my mind, I’m
free to do that, too.
Do:
1.
Post your
own stance to an issue on your own timeline. If you see something a friend
has posted that you disagree with and feel compelled to respond, do so on your
own timeline. Make your post unrelated to theirs and make sure your post can
stand alone. Believe me, they will see yours, so you will have made your point-
if they want to be the troll, let them come to you. If they do comment, then
see #3.
2.
Unfollow
them- This is different from “unfriending”. If you’re worn out from seeing
their posts, try unfollowing them. They can still see your posts and may or may
not troll you, but it’s on them. Plus, if you want to see what they’re up to,
you can always check in by looking them up and scrolling through. This way you
get to stay friends and avoid the awkwardness of them realizing that you don’t
like what they post.
3.
Attack
the argument or the issue directly. If you choose to engage in debate, and
you’ve followed #1, then you are having civil discourse on your turf. You control
your timeline and comment section- bonus, you might have friends who agree with
you and will take some of the burden of the debate, and if you set a good
example, then you’ll be hosting a respectful, civil discourse among friends.
Everyone wins!
4.
Share
news or information from mostly neutral news sites. And try to verify the
information on multiple news sites. There is bias everywhere, but many news organizations
are run by excellent journalists who do their job admirably. Examples such as Reuters
and the Associated Press are considered pretty neutral. If you’re on the far
right or the far left, you might consider anything close to the center to be
anything but neutral. But I would argue that facts are facts- find something
that presents facts, then gives analysis from experts as well as analysis from
people who have opposing political views. Then, think freely. There is no shame
in realizing that you might be wrong.
5.
Listen.
Not just to try to find the flaw or to catch the other person in a fallacious
argument, but listen for their story. Try to understand their perspective. By doing
so, you honor them as human and when you argue your position you do so from a
position of compassion, strength and understanding.
Thanks for reading!
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